Home From Vacation and Back in Action.

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Had a great time with my family in upstate New York.  This photo was originally taken by my sister when we were on a ferry crossing Lake Champlain from Burlington VT to Fort Kent NY.  I like this shot because it makes my Dad and I look like we’re thinking of a master plan.  He’s looking and feeling great after a long, hard fight with cancer.  When I posted a note about his diagnosis on Facebook a year or so ago, my friend Charlie remarked, “Karl is such a BAMF I feel sorry for the cancer.  It clearly has no idea who it’s messing with.”  This has turned out to be very true!

Met with Arnie Danielson today about DBAMFEST 2014.  So much work has yet to be done but I’m feeling pretty energized for it all after vacation.  I just hope the work load at my job doesn’t suck too much wind from my sails.  Over the years I’ve learned a lot about what it takes to get a festival going.  It’s a long and arduous process with many stops, restarts, roadblocks, and upsets.  There are moments of glory when things fall into place and days when you really want to strange someone.

On that note you might find me listening to a lot more rap songs about having a love/hate relationship with the game than I usually do:

“Stripping Away The Psycho”

Valerie D’Orazio has a great article on Elliot Rodger.

I especially appreciated this part:

“Sometimes people turn to “dark” entertainment—movies, comic books, music, culture, whatnot—in order to process internal demons, not set them loose. More damage would be created by banning these outlets and forcing them deep underground than by letting them be available to the public.

Poetry: Awesome! Donald Sterling: Racist Idiot

Night Slam will be taking place at the Big Theater in the Fine Arts Building at Massasoit Community College on May 8th.  They are currently working on Wizard of Oz.  I have a feeling we are going to have the full set behind us and everything.  The last time this happened it was back in the Little Theater and we had the set from A Streetcar Named Desire as our backdrop and it was awesome!  Yes, I fell to my knees and yelled “HEY STELLAAAAAAAAAA!”

The only time you will see me blog about sports related news will be when something as awesome as this happens:

I laughed so damn hard I choked.

Blessed are the Geeks: Remembering Harold Ramis

He’s the least changed by success of anyone I know in terms of sense of humor, of humility, sense of self,” the late Second City founder Bernie Sahlins, who began working with Ramis in 1969, said of him in 1999. “He’s the same Harold he was 30 years ago. He’s had enormous success relatively, but none of it has gone to his head in any way.”

Harold Ramis died today.  The first movie I ever saw him in was Ghostbusters where he played Egon Spengler, my favorite ghostbuster.  What fascinated me most about him (and the film) was the scientific approach to the paranormal: the idea that spirits, ghosts, demons, and deities not only exist but can be identified and categorized. I can’t tell you how much I wished his trusted Tobin’s Spirit Guide were a real-life text I could check out from my local library.  I dreamed of paging through a heavy, black leather bound book, reading about poltergeists, cultists, and magicians; an encyclopedia of arcane knowledge.

Most of all, Egon taught me it was cool to be a geek, to have extensive knowledge and understanding of things where other people came up short.  Peter Venkman may have had the best lines and the most nerve, but without Egon’s know-how the team would be nothing.  I hope when I show Ghostbusters to my own children someday they will glean a similar lesson from his character.

Rest in peace Mr. Ramis.

Where are the Open Letters To The Other Man?

After hearing the song “Love” by the band Daughter, I was particularly struck by these lyrics:

Take your hands off him
‘Cause he’s the only one that I’ve ever loved
Please don’t find her skin
When we turn the lights out…

I found myself wanting to write a persona poem from a point of view similar to that of the character in the song.  I was particularly interested in writing about a relationship wrecked by infidelity which occurred when said relationship was going through a rough patch.  Imagine the agony of not being sure whether the relationship could have been salvaged had it not been for the entrance of a third party.

Aside from one suspicious incident in 2006 which I could never confirm, I have not experienced the full brunt of someone having cheated on me.  With no real personal experience to draw from, I decide to do a little research.  I googled “Open Letter to the Other Woman” and read a handful of them.

Out of curiosity, I googled “Open Letter to the Other Man”, and I found nothing.  Oh, there were “Open Letters” written by men about many things, but as for a letter to their wife or girlfriends paramour, I found nothing.  No righteously angry but dignified parting shots, hell, not even an unhinged rant worthy of a restraining order.  Nothing.  What does this say about how we, as men, deal with our emotions when we won’t even write an open letter to the son of a bitch who walked into our lives and slithered away with our woman?  Now don’t get me wrong: it takes two to tango and I am not letting the person who did the actual cheating off the hook.  I just think it’s sad that even when faced with a deep, personal betrayal, many men can’t, or simply won’t express how it makes them feel.

I can’t remember whether I read this in an article or a message board thread, but someone once said that “Men are better at being loyal to one another but women are better at being emotionally supportive of one another“.  I have my doubts about the first half of that statement but I definitely agree with the latter half.  Most people are familiar with the stereotypes about the rituals a woman goes through after a break up: her friends show up, everyone has long tearful conversations about what happened, followed by the movie marathon with copious pints of ice cream.  What do us men get?  More precisely, what do us men offer each other for emotional support? Not much.

During my last semester at college I foolishly rushed into a relationship with a very lovely girl with long tresses of curly black hair, large brown eyes, and a deep olive complexion.  The whole thing fell apart in a manner of days and I felt like a complete and utter fool.  I really needed someone to talk to about how much of an awkward, clingy, insecure slob I had been to her.  A few days later I ran into a friend on my way home.  After I told him what had happened I immediately regretted it because all I got from him was a “Well why don’t ya just cheer up!“.  This confirmed my opinion that this particular friend had the emotional range of a tree stump.

Men are all too often pressured by gender norms to hold all their emotions inside.  On one hand I don’t mind society expecting me, as a man, to be emotionally strong in the face of adversity.  On the other hand I have always resented and resisted the notion that I should be a stoic block of wood on two legs.  Not only do we need to resist and reject this toxic brand of masculinity, we also need to step up to our fellow men and let them know that they need not be ashamed when the tears come.  During that last semester in college, I really wish that I had had a friend who would have at the very least put a knowing hand on my shoulder when I told him about the girl I let slip through my fingers.  I’m not saying we have to show up at each others houses with stacks of romantic comedy DVD’s and a big bag of Ben & Jerry’s (although some action flick DVD’s and a dozen chicken wings sounds    amazing right about now*).  All I am saying is that we need to step up the amount of emotional support we have for one another.  Even just being willing to listen can help.

* Yes I know this is just a stereotype and that there are women out there who would be more into action movies and chicken wings instead of romantic comedies and ice cream.  If you know any, help a guy out and send them my way will ya?